Please No More Pain…thoughts in my head
i have often been blinded by the past, but now, i have been aware that the some of my memories can become nightmares of my future. I don’t wanna be a prisoner of the past and so, i realize that i will strive to continue to have a greater awareness of who i am…wholistically…
i have always been afraid of the facing my fears, of being side by side with temptation…maybe because i know that deep inside i would want to choose the least of what would be good for me…no more pain now, but, what if i get the consequences of my answers later and it would just kill me more…
im so scared of nothing…good thing there have been means to write down feelings that one would want to forever conceal…
sometimes, i feel so stupid that i have been so into the good of things…
do you think that revenge has a positive effect on people? if yes, then my realization should be met with an action plan…i would be better than i was before…damn them…(that’s my rebellious self talking)
i know i can be a pain in the ass sometimes, i just do my best to be always as good as i can be…
in truth i am really good…just don’t make me cry, or else, my curses come to life…
that’s another truth about my family…when we say something against someone that caused us pain…it just happens…and we don’t have the slightest idea how it does…it just happens…maybe the Universe listens somehow..and It bends against those afflicted…this is the reason why i don’t wanna get angry…i may end up killing someone, literally…
maybe we have unseen defenders here on earth that knows when pain lurks in our hearts…they just ease the pain…
weird…im blabbering again….
but, that’s me…i find thinking a favorite past time…trying to exercise my brain gives me nourishment, like water in the seas…it folds and slaps me in the face…
being the person that i am is sometimes boring, but, ultimately…it has been a roller coaster ride of raging hormones and tears the past two months…i hope too God i learn the best out of this…i truly love myself…and my I AM.
